Hello Again

Well, it’s been a while since I blogged. Squish is now a whopping 3 months old and I am desperately attempting to get back into the swing of things. Its hard. I “let” myself go this past year….granted ankle surgery & pregnancy took their toll – especially one on top of the other. Add to those recovering from a c-section that had to heal open and well – I have packed back on 70 lbs 😦 It was my fault -I could have made better food choices, but I didn’t and now I am suffering for it, both in weight and pain levels. I am finally off soda again – that caused a good portion of my pain, but the excess weight makes everything harder. And now I am back in mom mode again (Hayden – almost 11 is very independent so it was easier to get out and do things) where I never know when I will have a chance to eat and fast food is soooooo easy. It needs to stop. I’m even throwing this post together while the baby is sleeping – so sorry if it isn’t put to gather overly well.

Have you ever noticed that everyone, even strangers have opinions on your life? And they vary depending on who you talk to. I have been told I am being selfish for pumping and having my husband (oh yea I got married too) feed the baby so I can work out without interruption & I have also been told that I am not dedicated because I “use the baby” as an excuse to not work out – like this morning we haven’t gone for a walk yet because it was too cold – and now he is asleep again and I don’t want to wake him. Talk about being damned if you do and damned if you don’t…but the truth is I am doing the best I can. Nothing matters to me more than being a mother. And part of being a good mother is being healthy – which requires sacrifice. I cried the first time I left Squish at home to go work out. I hated being away for an hour or two. I still hate it – I just don’t cry as much any more.

It will probably take me longer this time – I need to make sure I am eating enough (and of the right stuff) to nurse still and not doing too much so my supply doesn’t suffer (it can decrease and I have a hard time producing as it is due to #PCOS), but I am confident I will figure it all out eventually.

Social Media – A Great Place For Bullies

Facebook – the final frontier. A place where people have two choices – build or destroy. With a few stokes on your keyboard you can build up or tear down a complete stranger. I often wonder why so many people choose the later. I guess it is easy. All you have to do is sit behind your computer, phone, tablet etc and post whatever comes into your mind. It doesn’t really impact your life. Those hurtful thoughtless words that you write….but have you ever thought about what it might do to the life of the person reading it? Even if you have seen things about the person before – unless you know them why say anything?

Facebook has become a place where adults have become the bullies. It saddens me. In a sport where I have found so much love from strangers there are also those that constantly seek to tear people down. I have thick skin, I have had to, so I am going to use myself as an example.

This past week a picture of me with Thor at the Avenger’s 5k was posted on RunDisney’s Facebook page as the fan of the week photo.

The inaugural RudDisney Avengers 5K

These were some of the comments the picture received.

“How can someone with a questionable last place finish be celebrated again…. So many more deserving people.”

(I have been accused of faking getting hurt to get the fanfare that came with being last at the 1/2 Marathon that weekend)

 “It has to do with Character. And I expect fans of the week to abide by a standard reflective of Disney. I saw what I saw and made my own decision of the Character of Ms. Fuller.in regards to the finish everyone has a past they overcome or a story but again to have Disney celebrate the irresponsibility of the decision Ms. Fuller made risking health should not be glorified.”

My response to her was “Are you my doctor? Do you know my body or what I can do? You are entitled to your opinion but you do not have the right to call me irresponsible or question my “character” when you don’t know me.  Besides most people consider it strength of character that I finished. Even my surgeon. There are people that run every day that someone might consider irresponsible….I sure there are those that would say someone going through chemo shouldn’t run etc….but it isn’t for others to decide. It is a personal decision. I run in pain every time I run, people ask me why, and I do it, I do it because I refuse to give up. It took the same strength to finish as it did for me to leave my abusive marriage. The same strength for me to sign up for a 1/2 when my doctor told me I’d never walk again after he rebuilt my arch. I know what I can handle, I know when I need to bow out. I listen to my body. I know what I am capable of.”

This same person, on a different post attacked Disney for rewarding those that started the race, but could not finish, with a medal. She accused them of cheapening the medal for those of us that struggled and did finish. I see it differently. I applaud all those who try. I know the struggle. I applaud anyone that gives 100% – especially when all odds are against them.

I know I am not perfect, I know I have made mistakes and poor choices, but my intentions are and always will be pure.

I think if more people spent more time building people up instead of tearing them down, the world would be a much nicer place to live.

Let’s set the example. Let’s find someone that needs a lift and give it to them.

Jeff Galloway Blogger Tips: The Power of the Group

THE POWER OF THE GROUP-

The fun of running with a group pulled me into the sport 57 years ago.  Running and training with my friends Steve Prefontaine, Frank Shorter Bill Rodgers, brought out the best of running in me—while we became good friends, and Olympians.  As I travel the US this season, for our Galloway training program kickoffs, I see the same fun, support and friendship development.  I hope to see many of you at our free clinics.  Here are the ways I’ve observed runners of all abilities improve more and have more fun when in the right group.

1. Great friendships

2. The miles go by quicker—telling stories, sharing life experiences

3. Guidance in running with the right group for you, with the appropriate run walk run strategy

4. Because the group is waiting for you, you will stay motivated and get out there more often

5. You’ll learn about some interesting races, places to run, fun running experiences

6. On the really tough workouts and races, the group will pull you through

7. Access to tools for management of nutrition, fluids, motivation, aches/pains

8. The right group leadership can fine-tune the pace of each workout, avoiding injury/exhaustion

9. Helping others who are struggling bestows an amazing sense of achievement

10. Sharing the empowerment of finishing a long run can change your life

Most groups, like our Galloway programs allow runners to try them out for free.  Together we can celebrate fitness and inspire others to improve the quality of their lives.
****There are many times I enjoy getting out there by myself to clear my head, but there is nothing like running with someone to help the miles go by quicker. It also helps me stay on pace. My favorite races have been those where I have been helped by others to reach my goal or have been able to help others. The commodore is amazing in running groups.

Highlights of this year’s Galloway Training Programs:

• Discount on the Jeff Galloway 13.1 and Barb’s 5K LINK
• 50% discount of Jeff Galloway’s Running Schools and Blue MT Beach Retreats
• Discounts on Phidippides products – Jeff’s store and the original running specialty store LINK
• Discounts on ElliptiGO, my favorite way to cross train outside
• Discounts on Pacific Health Products Accelerade & Endurox
• Discounts on Cooper Complete vitaminsLink
• Galloway Alumni hat available just for those who have been a part of our team before
• Newly redesigned Galloway Training medal to celebrate completion of this year’s program

On Friday Wear Pink For Bree

I can’t believe that tomorrow marks a year since Bree earned her angel wings. I can barely type right now I am so overwhelmed with feelings of love for this angel. Some of you haven’t been following me since the beginning so I will recap a little bit of who this angel is and what she means to me.

Two years ago this week I took the leap and signed up for the Tinker Bell 2014 & Princess 2014 1/2 Marathons presented by #runDisney. I was in over my head. I honestly don’t know what possessed me to set such a lofty goal, I wasn’t even weight bearing on my left foot at that point, but I did it. Training went as well as could be expected for someone that hated to run and that hurt with every step. By October I was ready to throw in the towel on my dreams and on everything all together. I was sitting alone crying to myself when my phone rang and I was asked to help get a family whose little girl was diagnosed with a terminal brain tumor to Disneyland. I somehow pulled myself together and got started trying to get park hoppers for this family of strangers. Well, with the assistance of an amazing posse of princesses, instead of park hoppers I was able to get them a room at the Grand Californian which was stocked full of gifts, a Christmas Tree, gift cards, etc Prince & Princess makeovers, Build a Bear etc. The support I received from strangers to help a stranger restored my faith in humanity…it restored faith in myself. Every race I run I know that Bree runs with me. She gives me wings to fly. Right before she passed, her mom posted that she was afraid that the world would forget sweet Bree. I made a promise to her that day that I would help make sure she was never forgotten. So I am asking each one of you to wear something pink on Friday for Bree – take a picture and post it on Instagram or on my Facebook Page ( The Cambrey Diaries ) with the hashtag #wearpinkforbree

I know this song is in tribute to Paul Walker – but the it strikes true for Bree – so Angel until I see you again.

It all started two years ago…

I knew I needed to change my life. I was miserable. So two years ago today, I went to audition for Extreme Makeover Weight Loss Edition. I really didn’t think that I would be able to change by myself. I guess I was wrong, but I think the audition process gave me the push I needed to achieve the life I wanted.

People have asked me recently how I did it, and why….so I thought I’d start off with a little backstory….

I’m not going to say I have had a hard life, I have seen first hand what hard can be, but my life has not been without its challenges. These challenges (and my inability to cope with them in a healthy manner back then) were the catalyst to my gaining weight. I used it as a shield. I liked being invisible. Invisible is safe. The main “challenge” I faced when I was younger was that I was sexually abused from the time I was about 7 until I was almost 12. No one knew. I didn’t tell my parents until about 8 years ago. Because of that experience, when I hit my teenage years, and guys started becoming interested…I purposefully gained weight…guys don’t like the fat girl. And it worked…until I got older and wanted guys to find me interesting….but I still wanted them to like me for my brains, not my body….but what I found were men that pretended to like me and preyed on my insecurities. With every “bad boy” I met and loved, my feelings of self worth spiraled down. I didn’t feel like I deserved any better. I was living in hell, and the worst part was, I was forcing my son to live in it with me. After living living in a marriage where I was constantly betrayed, lied to, and hurt (physically and emotionally, and almost dying after a 2nd episode of blood clots in my lungs post surgery, I woke up one day and decided that I didn’t have to live like this anymore. I spent the next year working on myself – my already bad marriage got worse and I ended up filing for divorce. Shortly thereafter I met Aaron….and while I thought he was completely different, he was really more of the same. I really shouldn’t have jumped into a relationship so quickly….but in retrospect…dating him probably kept me from taking my ex-husband back. I was still weak in my feelings of self worth. I had overcome a lot of obstacles, but years of self doubt trumped that. Aaron was manipulative and mean. I was back in the same cycle…and by the end of last year I was falling back into bad habits….I was depressed again and didn’t feel like doing anything…it hurt so much. So I ran…and I cried….and I ran some more. And I took all the pain I have felt for 30 years and I ran. I used the pain to push me. And I started back into Cross Fit…and I used the pain to push me through. Pain can change you if you let it or it can defeat you. I am done being defeated.

And yes, I still have days when I look in the mirror and see this…..

and honestly sometimes I miss the invisibility that comes with it. And sometimes when I post new pictures like this….

the attention is scary. Finding a balance is hard. Feeling comfortable in what is left of my is hard. I am still figuring out who I am now. What I want. Who I want to be. But one thing is certain….I know I am worth it.

Galloway Blogger Tips: Why Do We Get Injured

These tips are near and dear to my heart….I get injured easily due to past injuries/surgeries, but since following the Galloway Method more closely I have been able to recover faster from the injuries I do get and have probaly avoided a lot more.

1)Be Aware of Irrittion of Weak Links

• The key weak links where my runners tend to expirience injuries are: Knees – Calves – Achilles – Hips – Glutes/piriformis/sciaticia.
• The body parts that you need to be aware of are of are the sites where you are injured or suffer more aches and pains. 
• Being sensitive is the first indication of irritation in these areas and if you take immediate action it is possible to avoid injury.

2)Stress Buildup Due to the Way We Train

• Training schedule is too intense and you aren’t taking enough rest days.
• Adverse Training Components:  youur speed is too fast or is too much too soon.
• Running Form: too long of stride, leaning forward, bouncing too high off the ground.

Top 5 Ways to Avoid Stress Buildup & Avoid Injuries

1. Take walk breaks more frequently and run shorter segments
2. Form: shorten your stride and keep your feet lower to the ground.
3. Slower long runs with more walk breaks.
4. Avoid stretching during your runs – stretch before and after.
5. Be careful when running speed sesssions.

Jeff Galloway Training Tips

This week’s training tips from Jeff Galloway. At the Princess Half Marathon Expo I purchased Jeff’s book RUNNING UNTIL YOU’RE 100 for my dad (who turned 74 in January and placed 1st in his age group for the 2014 Tinker Bell 10k & the 2015 Star Wars 10k). My dad, who has run 5 miles on the treadmill every morning for as long as I can remember has now run 3 1/2 marathons. He keeps hitting a wall about mile 8. He even finds himself running out of steam on the last mile of his 10k runs. Since I am new to this whole running thing, I think he has taken my advice with a grain of salt in the past, but I am hoping that he will read the book and start training smarter. Happy Running!

My Avengers 1/2 Marathon Race Recap: When Angels Carry You

I have struggled to write this post. I have started and restarted it over a dozen times. The emotions this race brings up in me are overwhelming at times….and it’s all because of this little girl.

Brylee click on the link for her blog

It was September of 2013 when I first heard about Brylee. It was a really dark time in my life and I had every intention of not seeing October. I received a call asking if I had connections to help get a little girl and her family park hoppers. At first I was frustrated that I was being asked to help – and then I read her story.  Brylee had cancer – an inoperable brain tumor (DIGP)- and wasn’t expected to live much longer. I ended up being able to facilitate more help than anyone, included myself had expected. She saved my life. Every run is dedicated to her.

The race started off great – the few miles through the parks were a ton of fun. It wasn’t until we left the parks that the I really began to notice the winds. UGH they were horrible. The signs were all blown over – or torn to shreds.

 

The worst part was the sand, tumble weeds, and blowing cones. The coarse took us on a little running path for a few miles until we got to Angels Stadium. It was there that as fate would have it, I zigged when I should have zagged. I was attempting to avoid a blowing tumble weed and got taken down by a cone. Someone stopped and helped me up, and I assured them I was ok. That was about mile 6 1/2, my knee was sore…not overly sore at that point so I kept going. By Angel’s Stadium I was in a lot of pain…so I slowed down and limped along. I kept wanting to quit…but I couldn’t. I kept thinking about Brylee. Finally I had limped far enough along that I was in the “safe zone” – meaning I was no longer at risk of being swept. The med people kept swinging by on their bikes – asking if I was ok- I told them I was fine….they didn’t believe me…but they let me continue. About mile 11 I looked up to the sky and started to cry. I told Brylee that I was sorry, I didn’t think I could keep going. It hurt too much. It wasn’t much longer after that Ashley White appeared.

“I’ve been thinking of writing this since the Avengers half marathon. That was a struggle of a race for me. If it weren’t for my amazing boyfriend I probably would have gotten swept. He kept me moving even when the dust was too thick to see where we were going. The wind had decided to crash our half marathon! Tables, trash cans, traffic cones, tumble weeds, folding baracades and almost all the mile markers blew down or in some cases hit people. (The police and runDisney staff did an amazing job trying to keep us safe though)

Towards the end of the half I was almost swept since I was walking due to the dust in my lungs (pneumonia set in later) I had sent my boyfriend ahead a few miles before the last sweep point so he wouldn’t get swept in his very first race. (He wasn’t happy that I was sending him on but he eventually went like I asked) And now I was neck and neck with the pacer and trying not to cry. Luckily I didn’t get swept at mile 10 because about mile 11 I saw Cambrey limping along just like I had done at a previous race. And for the next 2.1 miles I got to talk with an amazing woman who I am now lucky to call friend.” taken from her blog http://runningcrafterme.blogspot.com/2015/01/allow-me-to-introduce-myself.html

She walked with me the final few miles. Never letting me quit. She even tried to stay out of the “Final Finisher Spotlight” but I wouldn’t have been there had it not been for her.

I have no doubt that Brylee sent Ashley to me that day, and that is why yesterday I drove to visit her and give her what she helped me get. I was carried by two angels that day. I will never forget it.

 

Jeff Galloway Blogger Program: Training and Motivation

I actually squealed in delight when I received an email telling me that I had been selected to participate in the Jeff Galloway Blogger Program. For those of you that don’t know who Jeff Galloway is – he is an Olympian that has put together a program to help anyone achieve their goals of running and doing it injury free. When I first got the notion in my head that I was going to become a runner (after HATING running my entire life) I had no idea what I had gotten myself into. So I was looking around the runDisney website and saw the Jeff Galloway training plans for upcoming runDisney events. After a little google search I discover that he had some amazing apps that would coach me to my first 5k, 10k, and 1/2 Marathons. I honestly don’t think I could have accomplished any of the things I have without these apps. So, as I have told him (Jeff Galloway) at each and every runDisney Expo I have been too – I wouldn’t be where I am today without him. His run, walk, run method was just what I needed to do this.

Here are a few of tips from Jeff Galloway

Training and Motivation

• When paced correctly, running delivers the best attitude boost you can get. Sustain this by pacing yourself gently during the first mile or three.
• A well-paced run enhances vitality for the rest of the day.  Start each run at least 30 seconds a mile slower than you will run at the end.
• If you have a Run Walk Run strategy that is right for you on that day, it’s possible to feel good after every run-even the marathon.
  • For me, this changes periodically…it can be run to run….I have even changed my intervals mid-run. 
• Running is the best stress reliever I’ve found. Research shows that running tends to activate the conscious brain which over-rides the emotional subconscious brain and manages the negative and anxiety hormones during and after the run.
  • This has been so true for me. I run to cleanse my soul.
• Research shows that as runners get faster, their stride length shortens.  A quicker cadence is the mechanical key to faster running.
• The finishing of a run that is longer than you’ve run in the last 3 weeks can bestow a sense of achievement that is unique and empowering-due to positive brain circuits that are turned on.
• You can’t run a long run too slowly or take too many walk breaks.  You’ll get the same endurance based upon the distance covered.

For more information: Sign up for his free newsletter at www.JeffGalloway.com or visit www.RunInjuryFree.com

**I am participating in this program because I believe in the benefits of the run, walk, run system.**

Finding Strength in the Struggle

And sometimes it does a bit of both.

These past few months have been beyond hard for me. In November I quit a job I had loved, because well, the GM was jerk and I was kinda sick of people making me cry. That is when things began to unravel.

I had been in a relationship since April, and while my heart and soul were in it, people kept telling me his weren’t. Turns out they were right. He had come on some hard times and I had been working extra hours so I could help him too….so needless to say he wasn’t overly happy that I had just up an quit my job. It was shortly there after that some other not so happy truths were revealed, and after a month or so of constant lies – I got the truth. The truth was the last 9 months of my life had been a lie and our relationship was not what it had seemed. He had been putting on a show. I was not the only one in his life…he had been angry at the other person and used me as an escape. The other person is fully aware of what happened, and what happens to them is no longer my problem.

My problem is the hurt I am left with. The betrayal. He had been a source of strength to me for months, and now, not only is that strength gone, but I am left wondering if he had meant any of it at all. But maybe it didn’t really matter what was real and what wasn’t. Maybe all that mattered was that I found strength – the strength was real, even if where I got it wasn’t.

I found myself scrolling through my endless iTunes library and came across a song from the Broken Bridges soundtrack  – appropriately named Broken….the song spoke to me, in a way nothing really had yet.

When you’re broken
In a Million little pieces
And your tryin’
But you can’t hold on any more
Every tear falls down for a reason
Don’t you stop believin’ in your self
When you’re broken

So I told one of my friends that I felt broken and she told me that sometimes broken things are the most beautiful. 

That is exactly what I had needed to hear. That and that broken crayons still color 🙂 Either way I knew I was going to be fine. It is ok to struggle – struggling is part of the journey, it wasn’t meant to be easy, but find strength in the struggles. It isn’t easy to walk away from someone that you love – even when that love wasn’t returned. But nothing that was worth it ever came easy. I am still in the middle of my journey. I am still learning who I am and still trying to figure out who I want to be. Looking back – he will always be one of my favorite mistakes.